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托福口语范文:综合口语Task5高分范文PK低分范文

2016-11-03 18:05

来源:未知

作者:tongdao

问题:
The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the man’s problem. Briefly summarize the problem, then state which solution you recommend and explain why.
Preparation Time: 20 seconds
Recording Time: 60 seconds

高分范文
❶ The man just got his first draft of paper from the professor and he has to review all the comments and write a final version. But there is only one day left. ❷ The woman offers him two possible suggestions. The first suggestion is to ask the professor for a deadline extension. ❸ Because all the other students got their paper a few days ago and only the man got his paper just now, so the professor should take some responsibility for this situation. ❹ Nonetheless, the man does not want to seem pushy and offensive. The second possible solution is to do his best with the time left. He can finish the paper quickly and work hard. Since he is a pretty good student, he can get a pretty good grade. But there are too many comments to deal with. If I were the man, I would choose the first solution. ❺ Owing to professor’s fault, even if it‘ll be a little uncomfortable asking the extension, it is still reasonable to do so. ❻ In addition, there is no need to worry about being offensive. The man just need to tell the problem to the professor in the first place.
范文解析:
General Description (总体陈述印象):
考生的发音较好,咬字清楚,回答中逻辑很有连贯性,语汇表达多样,句式丰富,信息完整。
Topic Development (话题发展): 学生对于听力的内容掌握的很到位。对于男生遇到的问题叙述为… But there is only one day left。对于两个方案和各自的缺陷的表述分别为ask the professor for a deadline extension,the man does not want to seem pushy and offensive;to do his best with the time left,But there are too many comments to deal with。并且自己也发表了看法,选择第一种方法,并且对支持的观点进行了两方面的陈述,因此,对于话题问题,解决方案及其缺陷,自己的观点这几方面的考点陈述得十分准确。
Language Use (语言运用): ❶中此处用but既交代了背景,也很好地引出学生的问题。❷用The woman offers …,The first suggestion is …, The second possible solution is…有条理地进行了两个方面的阐述。❸用because引导原因更能起到强调作用,因为某事所以教师必须承担责任,更具有说服力. ❹转折常用词but在上下文避免重复使用可以用此处的nonetheless进行替换,但需注意分清转折程度。❺owing to一方面可以替换表原因的用词,在口语中灵活运用,另一方面也是再次强调说明教授的失误造成了不理想的情况。❻在给出理由的表述中使用in addition或furthermore来展开补充说明,使上下文表述更加充分.
Delivery (语言表达): 此学生的回答连贯性和语言的流畅性较好,很多词组的发音均有很好的发音习惯,如略读need to ,good student等;连读review all ,worry about等;卷舌first,gets angry ,Nonetheless等。回答中,考生的语速均等,并且句与句、词与词之间有明显停顿,让考官听得很清楚。

低分范文:
In conversation, the man’s professor gave his comment just one day before the deadline so it was hard for man to finish the paper on time. There are two possible solutions. One is that he can ask professor for ❶ extension deadline. The other is that he can finish it quickly because he is a good student. As for me, ❷ I preferred the second solution for two reasons. ❸ Because, first, it seems that it’s the fault of professors’. It’s to return the comment late and it make the man’s schedule become ❹ tight. Besides, ❺ if the man is a good student, if he works hard, I believe he can finish it good.
范文解析:
General Description (总体陈述印象):
考生具有一定的信息组织能力,并能够多角度回答问题,但总体信息组织松散,语汇表达单一不明确,语法存在错误,发音带有明显的中式口音。
Topic Development (话题发展): 该答案对听力文本进行了一定程度的复述,对于男生遇到的问题, the man’s professor gave his comment just one day before the deadline so it was hard for man to finish the paper on time。对于解决方案及其缺点的叙述不是很到位,首先方案一ask professor for extension deadline,但是对于这一方案可能造成的问题没有提到。然后,方案二Another is that he can finish it quickly ,但是对于这一方案所面临的问题也没有提到。因此,该答案对考点的把握和叙述不够精准和全面。
Language Use (语言运用): ❶ 语法错误:这里想要表达的是延期,但不是extension deadline而是deadline extension;❷ 语法错误:对于自己的观点陈述应用现在时,而非过去时。因此改为prefer;❸ 语言赘余:Because,在这里显得多余。前面表达了自己的观点,随后用first和besides来陈述两个理由顺理成章;❹ 用词不准确:tight有时间紧的意思,但是一般后面会有修饰的名词,这里用limited更好;❺ 用词不准确:这里的if用的不好,这里要说支持第二种solution的观点,就不应该用if这种表述假设的词语。
Delivery (语言表达): 学生的整体回答缺少语调的变化,有些句子中间的停顿时间较长。该学生在发音方面出现了几处错误。也没有注意发音时翘舌possible,连读finish it good,finish it,略读gave his comment 。

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